It doesn’t matter whether your generation sailed away with Styx in the ’70s, said goodbye to Hollywood with Billy Joel in the ’80s, or tore up its heart with ’N Sync in the ’90s—if you loved the songs you grew up hearing, then listening to them now probably dredges up memories.
When Rob Sheffield (Grad ’91) stumbled on his mix-tape collection after unpacking during his move from Charlottesville to Brooklyn a few years ago, he was shocked and inspired. The result is Love is a Mix Tape: Life and Loss, One Song at a Time (Random House, 2007), a memoir that tells the story of Sheffield meeting and falling in love with his late wife, Renee Crist Sheffield (Grad ’90), and how Sheffield dealt with his grief after she died suddenly at age 31.
“Just holding [each tape], I remembered all the people I listened to this music with, the person who made this tape for me, all the people who orbited around [Renee and me],” Sheffield says. “It was so dizzying and evocative, how each tape was telling a story.”
Rob and Renee Sheffield on the Downtown Mall
The book covers the time from when the couple met in 1989 to when Crist died unexpectedly from a pulmonary embolism in 1997. Sheffield begins each chapter with a drawing of a mix tape, upon which is scrawled the name and artist for each of 10-20 songs. Those songs serve as the touchstone for that chapter’s memories, and he relates at least one of the songs to moments he remembers from the couple’s relationship.
The title of one of the chapters, “Big Star: For Renee,” is the title of the tape that Sheffield made for Renee after they met at the Eastern Standard bar in Charlottesville. He liked her immediately, or, as he puts it, “I fell under the spell of Renee’s bourbon-baked voice.”
As much as the book is a written memorial for Crist and a detailed portrayal of ’90s culture, Love is a Mix Tape is also a tribute to Charlottesville.
“I definitely thought about it while I was writing the book, that I love this town to an absurd degree and wasn’t going to hide it,” Sheffield says.
Love is a Mix Tape reminds readers who never lived in Charlottesville of how quirky their own small towns are and invites them to see how universal those nuances are. Sheffield said a song by one of his favorite rock bands, The Hold Steady, captures this dynamic well and served as an inspiration to him as he wrote.
“They sing about specific towns, and when you hear it you feel like you’ve been there because of your friends, roommates, girlfriends—all the people you scatter around you as you go through your 20s,” Sheffield said. “That aspect of The Hold Steady had a huge effect on me as I was writing it because of the way they evoked those towns.”
Sheffield hopes that showing the intricate connections between music and his life would remind readers that their own passions are important.
“If it’s not music, it’s figure skating, it’s indoor hockey, kitten breeding, bird-watching. Everyone has something they geek out about,” Sheffield says. “Everybody has those weird passions in their lives, and those are so key.”
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Comments
I read this book and loved it - both for the story itself, and for the UVA references.
Having grown up in Charlottesville and attending the law school, I truly look forward to reading the book - it certainly dates me to remember stacking vinyl on my turntable for our gatherings (I must've had an 8-track, but can't seem to remember)!
I knew Renee and Rob through my daughter, Merit (Ed. "87) Merit ane Renee were friends for many years and i had the priveledge of spending time with thwm/ Renee was one of the most delightful persons I have ever known. I think of her often. I am still sadened about her loss at such a young age and am so glad that Rob has done tyis book. I can'y wait to read it!
I hope the University will invite Rob to hold a round-table discussion. I am wondering how he decided to translate his feelings into a book specifically and how it came to be published. What a great commemoration of life... and something we can all identify with. I can't wait to read it.
I can't wait to read the book, Rob! Congratulations, if that's the proper word . . . I think of Renee all the time, and I look forward to reading your memories of her and of Charlottesville.
I'm interested in reading the book too. Although I've lived in Charlottesville for most of my life, I'm always eager to learn more about the particular nuances of my home town. I've not met Rob nor Renee, but I do have a cassette of one of her radio shows, and I enjoy it immensely.
I was made aware of this book just prior to leaving for a vacation in the Middle East and ran down to my local B&N and picked up a copy to read on the plane. I had a number of reasons: My son graduated from UVA (SEAS '06) and my wife, Ruth Crawford, was born there. She attended one year at the University and worked at the SEAS but graduated from VCU in '74. In 2007 at age 57 she died of cancer. Her resting place is the Columbarian Wall in the UVA Cemetery. The review of the book resonated with me and the reading of it nearly derailed my trip. In fact I had to set it aside to get on with my vacation plans. It was so easy for me to identify with this young couple, both the joy of their life together and the pain Sheffield suffered (suffers) from Renee's loss; I was entirely captured by the story. I seriously wanted to pick up the phone and call him and extend my sympathies. I still do. I started writing a similar memoir after Ruth died because it helped me deal with the agony of losing her. I had set it aside but I'm now thinking I will take it out of the drawer and finish it. I never met Renee but I am oh so happy that Rob Sheffield took the time to introduce me to her and to their life together in Charlottesville. This is the most endearing story I have read in some time. Thank you for highlighting it! Thank you too for publishing the photo of the two of them together, and you might want to think about inviting Sheffield to next years Book Festival, no?
SONG FOR RENEE BY CHUCK KIKEL WHAT’S THAT YOU SAY RENEE, WHATS THAT YOU SAY? IT’S A DRAG TO HAVE US MISSING YOU? BUT YOU BLEW US ALL AWAY. YOU WERE A SONG FOR THE SUN A SONG FOR THE RAIN A SONG FOR A FACELESS MOON YOUR SPIRIT TOUCHED SO MANY LIVES YOU LEFT US ALL TOO SOON WE DIDN’T EVEN KNOW YOU, EXCEPT FOR WHAT ROB WOULD SAY, BUT YOU BLEW US ALL AWAY RENEE, YOU BLEW US ALL AWAY OF ALL THE LEAVES ON ALL THE TREES ON A BRISK NEW AUTUMN DAY YOUR COLORS BURNED SO COOL AND BRIGHT YOU BLEW US ALL AWAY YOU WERE A SONG FOR THE SUN A SONG FOR THE RAIN A SONG FOR A FACELESS MOON YOUR SPIRIT TOUCHED SO MANY LIVES YOU LEFT US ALL TOO SOON WE’RE GONNA MISS YA CHICK
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